十條真係問到佢開口嘅問題
好問題唔係深，係細。
我哋幫家庭做書嗰陣，最常聽到嘅一句係：「我問過㗎喇，佢唔講。」
通常唔係佢唔講，係條問題唔啱。太大嘅問題冇人答得到。試下改成細、具體、有畫面嘅問題，同一個人可以講足一個鐘。
由呢十條開始
一、你細個住嗰間屋，行入去第一眼見到咩？
二、你細個最怕邊個？點解？
三、你第一份工做咩？第一日返工你着咩衫？
四、你第一次自己搵到錢，用咗嚟做咩？
五、你同阿爸／阿媽第一次見面，佢做緊咩？
六、你哋結婚嗰日，有咩唔順利？
七、我出世嗰日你記唔記得？嗰日你點過？
八、你捱得最辛苦嗰段日子，係邊段？
九、有冇一個人，幫過你但係你冇多謝過佢？
十、你最想我哋記住你啲咩？
「我唔想你哋以為冇人記得你哋開緊舖。」
呢句係由第九條問返嚟嘅。問「有冇人幫過你」，通常會拉出成段最深嘅嘢。
三個令效果差好遠嘅技巧
一、問完之後唔好即刻補多句。好多人一見對方靜咗兩秒就慌，即刻補「即係例如…」。嗰兩秒沉默就係佢諗緊嘅時候，等佢。
二、追問嗰句永遠係同一句：「然後呢？」或者「嗰日仲發生咩事？」唔使諗新問題，跟住佢講落去就得。
三、一次得一至兩條。長輩講嘢好花力氣，尤其係講到動情嗰啲。一個禮拜一條，反而次次都講得深。
記住要錄音，唔好淨係聽
你以為你記得。三個月後你會記得個大概，唔會記得佢點樣講。
用佢平時 send 語音嘅方法錄就得，唔使買嘢，唔使裝新 app。錄低咗，之後想點用都仲有得揀；冇錄低，就真係冇。
我哋有成套為香港長輩設計嘅問題，想要嘅話 WhatsApp 我哋攞，免費，唔使買嘢。
Ten Questions That Actually Get Them Talking
A good question is not deep. It is small.
The sentence we hear most often from families is: I did ask, and he wouldn't talk about it.
Usually he would. The question was wrong. Big questions are unanswerable. Make them small, concrete and visual and the same person will talk for an hour.
Start with these ten
1. In the flat you grew up in, what did you see first when you walked in?
2. Who were you most afraid of as a child, and why?
3. What was your first job? What were you wearing on the first day?
4. The first money you earned yourself, what did you spend it on?
5. The first time you met my father or mother, what were they doing?
6. On your wedding day, what went wrong?
7. Do you remember the day I was born? What was that day like for you?
8. What was the hardest stretch of your life?
9. Is there someone who helped you that you never thanked?
10. What do you most want us to remember about you?
"I didn't want you to think nobody remembered you were open."
That came out of question nine. Asking who helped them tends to open the deepest material in the whole set.
Three things that change the result completely
One. Do not fill the silence. Most people panic after two seconds and add "like, for example...". Those two seconds are them thinking. Wait.
Two. Your follow-up is always the same sentence: and then? Or, what else happened that day? You do not need new questions, you need to keep going with theirs.
Three. One or two questions per sitting, maximum. Talking about this takes real energy, particularly the emotional parts. One question a week produces deeper answers than an afternoon of them.
Record it. Do not just listen.
You think you will remember. Three months later you will remember roughly what was said, and nothing about how they said it.
Record it the way they already send you voice notes. Nothing to buy, no new app. Recorded, you still have every option later. Unrecorded, there is nothing to have options about.
We have a full question pack built for Hong Kong elders. WhatsApp us and we will send it, free, with nothing to buy.
傾一傾，唔使即刻決定Let's talk. No decision needed today.
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